QUE SERA SERA

When i was just a little girl,

i ask my mother what will i be

will i be pretty?

will i be rich?

here's what she says to me

que sera sera

whatever will be, will be

the future not us to see

que sera sera

what will be will be

When i was just a little boy,

i ask my mother what will i be

will i be handsome?

will i be rich?

here's what she says to me

que sera sera

whatever will be, will be

the future not us to see

que sera sera

what will be will be

THIS IS HOW SELFISH AM I

I'm selfish, i'm the one who only cares about my own feelings. And i don't give a fvck to others i dislike. Why? Because it's just a wasting time of life.

Never Turn Your Back To The Past, Keep Moving Forward.

 But, there's an exception on the people i care like my family, my friends. I give a fvck about them. But the rest of you? BLAH.

My (crazy) friends and I

Vera and Shifa. They both are my friends in my secondary school. If you somehow wanna be crazy, befriend them.
Vera is a girl (of course she is). She can be considered beautiful but her crazy attitude is far away from beautiful. She's the craziest from us three. She's a loyal friend. When you get to her, she's nice. But if she dislikes you, she'll treat you very badly. She likes to speak up what she wanna speak. Her mind is unpredictable and sometimes she act like a pervert. And her laugh is crazier that her face or hair. Right now, she's madly in love with a senior. "Peace, love, and weed!!" =)))
Shifa is another girl. Her age is the same with me but she's older a few months. She caught Vera's crazy virus and sometimes she got crazy too. I gotta say that she got a few similarities with Vera, crazy laugh and a pervert mind. She also resembles Vera, vile to the people she dislikes. She looks like an idiot who sometimes blank and show her idiot confuse straightface. LOL.
And me, i'm with them.

Left to Right : Vera, Me, Shifa.

My Friend and I

Hi~~!! i'm Tifa, guess you know that already. In this post, i wanna tell y'all about my friend.
Her name is Enda. She's my housemate. We were in the same elementary school but now we entered different secondary schools. She attended 7 JHS while i attended 14 JHS.
Even though she didn't realize it, i think she's clever and dilligent. She likes to study a lot and sometimes she taught me a lesson if i couldn't understand. Just like mathematics. She also got a great taste in music and movies. I also have to admit that she know casual styles.
She have great targets. She wanna earn the scholarship from ASEAN to Singapore. She told me that she wanted to be a diplomat. I think she can make it, because she's very dilligent but also not to "strict".
Well, i guess that's what i wanna say about her.

Enda and I. The left one is me, the right one is Enda.

Mark Renton ~ Trainspotting Main Role

Mark Renton was born from Mr. and Mrs. Renton on Edinburgh. When he grew up, he became addicted to drugs, especially heroin. He got the heroin from a friend named Swanney that him and his friends called "Mother's Superior" from the length account of his habit.

Left to Right : Spud, Tommy, Begbie, Renton, Sick Boy

He wasn't addicted to drugs Swanney sold all by himself, he also got friends. Sick Boy who actually named Simon, Allison, and Spud. He also got a friend named Tommy and Francis Begbie. Tommy was a nice man and never consumed drugs, and Begbie never interested in drugs but an alcoholic and a crazy psycho. But, they're all mates.

Firstly, Renton tried to stopped from consuming drugs. But even before 24 hours without contact with drugs, he couldn't stand it. So, he decided to go back to drugs.

One day, Renton visited athletic Tommy's apartement where he worked out. Tommy told Renton about the drunk Begbie when they played billiard. Renton found Tommy's sex tape with her gal, Lizzy. He switched it with another tape and decided to borrowed it. What he never realized is, the loss of the tape made Lizzy left Tommy for mistaking him gave the tape to a video store. 

DIANE

They all went to a pub. Tommy and Spud talked about their girlfriends, Begbie made out with a girl and so is Sick Boy but Renton was alone and saw a charming girl named Diane. After approached her outside, the went to Diane's place and "did it". It was the same night when Tommy and Lizzy found out about the missing tape and tomorrow Lizzy broke him up. And because of the depression after the broke-up, Tommy started joined the drug stuff with his mates. Something shocking also happened to Renton, Diane was 14 years old.

Renton and Spud caught by the police after they stole some things from a grocery store to buy drugs. The judge decided Spud to be arrested while Renton got released. Renton went to Mother's Superior and injected another heroin to his vein. But he overdosed and Swanney took him to a cab and ran away. After that, Renton's parents took him out of the hospital and locked him in his room so he could stand from drugs. Renton got frightened and stressed. His parents decided to took him back to the hospital and then, Renton was clean.

Diane came visited Renton again. They had a chat on Renton's bed and Diane told Renton to find something new. Renton then moved to London and started a job as a letting agent. But, Begbie and Sick Boy found him and stayed with him. Nasty things happened then to Renton's normal life. Begbie always in need of his own favorite athletic show on TV and asked Renton to buy him cigarettes while Sick Boy tried to sell anything he find on Renton's room, including his TV to buy fish and chips as breakfast. And before he find Renton's passport and sell it to somebody, Renton hid it. Later, they found out Tommy's death on toxoplasmosis and went back to Edinburgh to attend his funeral.

Back home, they meet Spud, who has been released from prison. Sick Boy suggests a profitable but dangerous heroin transaction, but needs Renton to supply half of the initial 4.000 pounds. After the purchase, Renton injects a dose of heroin to test the purity. The four then sell the heroin to a dealer for 16.000 pounds. They go to a pub and celebrate, discussing possible plans for the money.When Begbie ordered another drinks and Sick Boy went to the restroom, Renton suggested Spud to ran away with the money. Spud was to scared of Begbie to consider it. And then, Begbie got a fight on the bar because a fat man hitted him that made the beers poured out to his suit.

Tomorrow morning, they both already came back from the pub to the hotel. Sick Boy and Spud slept on the floor while Renton and Begbie slept on bed. Begbie held the bag filled with money. Renton woke up and stole the money. Spud saw him, but he didn't tell. When Renton already ran away and his friends woke up, Begbie was furious and destroyed the hotel's room violently. 

In the end, Renton left 2.000 pounds for Spud to start a clean slate of life.

SELFISHNESS

People say selfishness is a disease, a sinful disease. Well, that's true. But, let's just see it the other ways. Nobody can lives without selfishness. I got an explanation for that. Well first, in some particular situations we got rights to be selfish. If we somehow did something stupid when there's a wayout wide open in front of us, why not? Being too "unselfish" is a little naive, actually. Me, myself, admits that i'm a selfish person. But so the hell what? I'm selfish, 'cause i know my selfishness got its path. It's your problem, ok? I don't give a heck. You don't wanna cope with my selfishness? I don't care, i'm just giving my best effort to solve the problems but also not making me be wronged. Just stop mock people selfish, fvck yea, take a look deep inside you where the selfishness go, judges.

Running Man!!!!!

Usually, people like Korea because their music, especially girlbands and boybands. But, the only thing i like from Korea in "Entertainment" is a TV series called RUNNING MAN.

There're 7 members : Jae Suk, Kwang Soo, Gary, HaHa, Jong Kook, Suk Jin, and Ji Hyo. There used to 9 members, Joong Ki and Lizzy. Here are their nicknames :

1. Jae Suk : The Grasshopper, Yooruce Willis

2. Jong Kook : Sparta Kooks, Commander

3. HaHa :  Playboy Haroro, Harad Pitt

4. Gary : Peaceful Gary, Gaecholas Cage, Gae-Normal, Monday Boyfriend

5. Kwang Soo : The Framer, Gwangvatar

6. Suk Jin : Big Nose Hyung

7. Ji Hyo : Blank Ji Hyo, Monday Girlfried 

  But Joong Ki out from Running Man because they say he already has his own event and Lizzy also quitted because after-school activities. 

The first episode i watched was Episode 63 where the guest stars were Girls Generation : Taeyeon, Yuri, Jessica, Seohyun, Hyoyeon, and Yoona. From the episode, i liked Gary the most. He has a very FUNNY face and i like the way he spoke "STRE~SS"!! GARYY!!! :* 

But of course, the cutest one is Joong Ki. He's a babyface guy and very clever, i LOVE him!!

My favorite episode, of course, is the first eps i watched. Especially about Kwang Soo who liked Yuri and they were the cutest couple ever!!!!! And the humor between Gary and Jessica and also the compatible Kids Couple, HaHa and Taeyeon. It was my FAVORITE episode in Running Man, alwayss...

Well, i guess that's it about my liking to Running Man. Right now is the last day of Final Test. STRE~SS!!!!

What the heck?! It's FINAL TEST!!

Something Wicked This Way Comes, It's the FINAL TEST, creeps!
The disaster finally came up. Which means in a week i won't be able to access internet so this will be my last post on the blog. What else would it be about unless about my ugly FT?
Monday : Religion and Indonesian
Tuesday : Civic and English
Wednesday : Sundanese and Math (shit)
Thursday : Art and Culture and Science (Biology, Chemistry, and Physic) --the last one is a boom!
Friday : ICT and Social Science
Well, those are completely dirtbags.
My turn is on the second wave, during the midday. I mean, tell me God, WHY?! During the midday, my brain work won't reach its "glory" because i'm already sleepy and lazy. Why the seniors always got the best option!
Well, i guess that's it, i gotta study again. Ciao!

WEDNESDAY

This Wednesday, 5th December 2012, was a fine day.
Okey-dokey. First, when i awoke from sleep, i realize that my legs were no longer painful! Now, i can went up and down the stairs easily again. Second, at the school, the first lesson was English. And i gotta be the first person that tell the story all by myself as a model for others. I told the story of my last post, which i developed from the short version of my friend's. It was short, i only told it in 2 minutes, but i got " good A+++" crap, it never felt much better.
The second lesson was Social Science which was a total fucker. After that, it was the Art Lesson. Again, i forgot to bring the Study Process and my grade was a little left behind. But, when i showed my batik, my teacher told me that it was nice. And i used to have 80 for the batik, but later i got 82 (it wasn't so impressive, actually)
The fourth lesson was Civic, and because of the teacher already changed, i was so lazy on that lesson. Apparently, it was my class turn to vote the new leader of School Council. And because of that, my class didn't study Civic and we just had a free-time after the vote. How cute! >o<
When the bell finally rang, it was time for me to study more in the course. Originally, i should went home on 1, but because of the course, i went home on 3. If it was physic, i'd rather miss the course because the teacher was very boring and i couldn't understand what the fuck did she just taught. But, because it was chemistry and i like the teacher, i went to the course. Unfortunately, i wasn't in the mood that day and since the beginning of the course i was sleepy. And everytime the teacher went out from the class i used those precious minutes to sleep.
The course finished and the new chairman of Student Council announced. It was Miqdad. I voted for Fauzan-_- shit. But, it was everybody decision so i couldn't say a thing. I just congrate Miqdad and keep support Fauzan! =))
Well, that's the end of my wednesday this week.

Another Story : The Girl With The Red Ribbon

This story was originally created by my friend, Vera, in a short version. And she allowed me to develope it.

Once there was a girl named Lily. She was best buddies with a boy named Will. They always together. But there was something weird and mysterious about Lily. She always wore a red ribbon around her neck. And when people asked what was it for or when would she take it off, she usually ignored them.
When Lily and Will were 13 years old, Will took Lily to a treehouse near a lake his father just built for him as a b'day present. Lily would usually brought a book for her to read for them both. When she finished her reading, Will asked, "When will you take off the ribbon, Lily?" Unbeliavably, Lily didn't ignore him, instead she got angry for the very first time to Will. "If you really care about me, Will, i need you to stop asking that same question every single day!" And ever since then, Will never questioned Lily about the ribbon again.
When they were 25 years old, Will proposed Lily. Lily was very happy and accepted the proposal. On their wedding day, they already stood together on the altar and ready to become man and wife. But, Will asked one more time "Lily, could you please take off the ribbon?" Lily wasn't angry as she used to, she was sad. She started crying and she whispered faintly "Alright, Will, i'll take it off just for you. But this will be the last time we're together." Will was very confused by Lily's reply. "Why did you say that?" he asked. But Lily didn't answer. Her hand slowly grabbed the ribbon and took it off step by step.When it was finally off from her neck, people were so shocked. There was a bleeding wound around her neck. And suddenly, Lily's head fell off to the floor and rolling like a ball. People were so scared and some of them even passed out. Will was scared too but what he felt the most was regret. If somehow he didn't force Lily to took off her ribbon she wouldn't be dead. And that was the end of Lily's life and her relationship with Will. Forever.

I want..

1. My final tests scores are 100, and to earn it i gotta study hard and keep praying!
2. My report cards are well and i'm one of the best 5 in class (which is highly difficult)
3. I can join the story telling contest again. And this time, i expect a winning.
4. Enjoy my holiday well.
5. Wake up in the morning of 1st January 2013 with a new slate of life.

Love, TIFA!

3 HOURS for CATS SAKE

It was Sunday, and my cousin family stayed in my house from Depok. Once, i got two kittens. They were my cat, Miu, kitties. Their names are Iggy and Pop. Maybe because i really love Iggy Pop back then and i got no more ideas for their names, i just named them Iggy and Pop. 
Iggy-Pop were such cute kittens but my grandma and my dad tired took care of their shit. So, my aunt offered to bring Iggy-Pop to Depok and live with them and their two cats, Robi and Mickey. I quickly nodded cause, i don't know, i never can take care of cats well. 
Because they were still quite little, i put them inside two boxes. My dad made a little hole on every box so Iggy and Pop can breath. And then, we went to Depok.
Apparently, the holes my dad made were to big so Iggy-Pop could got out from the box and went around the car. Maybe they were carsick and decided to jumped to my cousin and i seats and Pop went to me and slept on my legs while Iggy was with my cousin. Iggy was easily asleep and relaxed, but Pop was still carsick and kept miaow me. My cousin handed me Iggy and she tried to calm Pop but she couldn't also.
I was so surprised when Iggy pooped. He pooped on my cousin's jeans and the car wall. His poop was also on our seats and it was bloody disgusting. The  other horrible part was, we went into the wrong way which took longer for us to arrived at our destination.  The weather was very hot and the AC was broken. Most of all, my cousin and i seats were so stinky! I couldn't last much longer to puke but luckily, my aunt opened the windown to got rid of the smell. Still, it was very stinky and hot. Both my cousin and i really wanted to puke. 
We arrived at my cousin's house. I ran out of the car right away before i puked inside.
It was 3 hours journey for cats sake.

3 Games I Really Wanna Play

1. The Sims 3 : Supernatural
Honestly, i already got the sims 3 amitions and pets, but i really really curious and interested about Supernatural because its 5 life states. It was released on November and if i installed it into my laptop my laptop will explode, i guess-_-
2. Fatal Frame 2 : Crimson Butterfly
I saw this game trailer and its gameplay and i liked it right away. I played it once but only for 5 minutes and i got so much curious about it. It was really scary, i closed my eyes in those 5 intense minutes. But still, i wanna play it again until i finish it well.
3. Mario Bros
I played it on Nintendo once, when i was about 9 years old. Now, the game's gone and i missed it very much. It was my best childhood game, ever.

Happy Sunday

I know it's a little bit early to say happy sunday but it's 12 am and i'm wide awake. It's entering the new day, frauds! Happy Sunday! I don't know about you all but my plans today are :

1. Family hangout, please!

2. If there's no hangout, it means i''ll watch movies and play the sims 3 all day long

Well, good night and good morning! 

dear god, why did i say this bullshit? fuck it, today's sunday. tomorrow is?????? t(>,<)

Story Time! THE TALE OF TWO SISTERS

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom. The King and Queen lived very happily with their two daughters. The oldest named Tanya while the youngest named Caroline. They had talents in music and always performed together to amaze people. Princess Tanya was a wonderful cellist and Princess Caroline had a golden voice. People said if those two special talents combined together, it created the best music in the world.

Unfortunately, everybody got issues of life. There was a tiny unsolved problem between them. Princess Caroline envied Princess Tanya since they were little kids. Princess Tanya was not only great on playing cello, but also had a unique amazing beauty. Lots of men and princes from other kingdoms like her and gave her lots of pretty flowers. Princess Caroline never told this to anybody except herself.
One day, Princess Caroline was out at the fish pond, fed her fishes. She suddenly saw the kingdom gates opened and a horsewagon came in. She walked away from the fish pond when the King's prophet called her to get inside.
She sat down next to Princess Tanya and she saw the charming Prince William came in. Prince William was the prince of South-East kingdom. He was very famous from his generosity and how handsome he was. Lots of ladies liked her, even Princess Caroline. He brought a bunch of white peonies on his right hand and smiled to Princess Caroline. Princess Caroline was blushed and smiled back. Prince William walker towards her. But she just made a mistake, Prince William didn't walked to her, but to Princess Tanya. He gave her the peonies and gave her a charming smile while Princess Tanya was blushed and replied his smile. Princess Caroline was so broken-hearted and did her best to held her tears!
On one desperate day, Princess Caroline ran away from the kingdom without left any notes. She just ran away to a river bank that was quite far from the kingdom. She sat down and looked into the water. She started to cried and she said "I wish i can have a beauty like my sister, and i'd trade my voice for it!" Then she closed her eyes and cried. After 15 minutes of crying, she opened her eyes and looked into the water for the last time. How shocked she was! Princess Caroline's face suddenly changed into a highly beautiful lady. She was as beautiful as Princess Tanya. No no, she was much more beautiful than Princess Tanya. Caroline was very happy and ran back to her kingdom with a big smile on her beautiful new face.
When she passed by the village, the villagers stopped and starred at her, to admired how beautiful she was. One of them even said that she looked like a goddess, much more perfect than Princess Tanya. Princess Caroline walked to the kingdom and tried to got into her home, but the guard just wouldn't let her in!
"What do you mean i can't get inside? I'm your Princess Caroline, how dare you! Now step aside!" When she said it, the villagers who watched also the guards laughed out loud.
"You're not Princess Caroline! If you really Princess Caroline, sing a song!" Princess Caroline easily nodded. She tried to sang, but she just couldn't find her voice! It was as ugly as a dead corpse.
"You fool! Get away from here! Away!" Princess Caroline started to cried down her tears while the guards were furious and the other villagers laughed at her. She ran as far as she could and she returned to the river bank.
As she cried and sat down next to the deep river, she looked into the water again. She saw a face, a beautiful face that she always wanted, but she despised it now. She missed her old face and voice. With regrets, Princess Caroline wiped her tears and stood up. She closed her eyes and whispered "I'm sorry" and she jumped into the water. 2 days later, a body with a pink dress was found from that river and it had Princess Caroline's face.

Things I Wanna Ask If I Got 3 Wishes

1. I wanna wish that everyone in this world live happily. I wanna wish that hatreds are gone and sinful actions are totally busted. 

2. Return to the past where i can fix my mistakes in the presence. It's weird and cruel, you know, everytime you sit down daydreaming about your mistakes in the past which cause troubles in your presence.
3. Those two wishes above come true.

If the world ends on 21st December 2012

I hope that i die before that so people can still able to pray for my sake and i'm included in one of the people who Allah loves. I wanna apologize to everyone and i wanna apologize to myself after what i said and did with this unperfect body. I also can't forgot on how much do i feel with regrets to my God, so sorry. It's just, i'm not ready yet and i still wanna have a life, a future. So please, don't end this world soon. Amen.

December Favourite Songs : For Me

1. The Script - Breakeven
I don't know why i like this song, i mean i don't really know The Script and not interesting when i heard this song on the radio. But after i listened to it once more, i'm starting to in love with this song because it's dramatic lyrics and also the smooth voice of the singer in the reff.
2. Muse - Neutron Star Collision
Well, i love all Muse songs. But on this December, Neutron Star Collision is "the one". I mean, it's Muse, suckers! What i hate about this song is in its video clip, where TWILIGHT ANNOYING SCENES mixed up. Fuck it.
3. Pulp - Disco 2000
This old song had been my top chart for 3 months. It's britpop, and i like it. So perfect for Sunday "on the floor" music.
4. Alexandra Stan - Mr. Saxobeat
Everytime i listen to this shit i always imagine how exactly is a club and i can't wait until i'm 18 when my parents allow me to go there.
5. The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition
Thanks to my friend, i recognize this song much more and i suddenly like it. When i'm in a bad mood or sad, this one is like, the best song that exist.

REAL LOVE

I was on my way to school on Saturday in a public transportation when i saw an elder couple. The old woman seemed sick and hardly to walk and so her old husband must held her when she walked or moved. She got into the public transportation first with her hand kept held by the old man. She sat down next to me and her husband sat in front of her. She said "Sit here with me", but her husband shook his head and said warmly "Let me sit here so if somehow you fall from your chair i'll catch you and i'll be the one who fall down". It was a heartwrenching moment and i starred at them had a little conversation and i could saw how much the old man loved his sick wife and would do anything for her.
When they said stopped to the driver at their destination, the old man held his wife's hand right away and went out first. After he out of the car he guided the old woman very nicely. He gave some money to the driver and i could saw he held his wife's shoulder to keep her upright, helped her to walk. His other arm held his wife's waist and his wife left hand held his arm very tightly. I almost cried back then, realized that love in this times are mostly bullshit while the love of those elders are completely a REAL LOVE.